Column Date 2011-07-25
"ICED TEA PARTY" SPLITS OFF FROM MAIN GROUP
(Washington, D.C,. Special to the Tannen Weekly) In a startling announcement today, a breakaway group of Tea Party members announced the formation of the “Iced Tea Party”.
“Hot, angry people never accomplish anything,” said a spokesperson, as area temperatures once again topped 101º.
“The Iced Tea Party insists that every congressman sign a pledge to have a nice, cool glass of refreshing iced tea, perhaps even with a sprig of mint, before any major vote.”
”We have to bring civility back to congress,” he went on, “and it’s hard to stay angry after you’ve shared a tall glass of iced tea.”
He pointed out the rising popularity of a revolutionary new kind of Yoga, “Frozen Yoga*,” which arose after thousands of Bikram Yoga followers got tired of passing out in their hundred-degree+ workout rooms.
Rumors also swept the capitol that yet another Tea Party spinoff, the “Oolong Tea Party,” had been formed. Anonymous sources claim it is really an advertising ploy by the Oolong Tea Growers Cooperative of Fujian, China.
No Oolong Tea Party members were available for comment.
*"Frozen Yoga" and the slogan "If you can stretch here, you can stretch anywhere" are Trademarks of the Tannen Weekly.
(c) 2011 Peter Tannen
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