Column Date 2011-01-06

TEA PARTY PROPOSES CUTTING FEDERAL BUDGET TO 1776 LEVEL

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a striking example of their new-found power, Republican Tea Party members today offered a spending bill that would shrink the federal budget to what it was back in 1776.

"We're all about original intent here," said one Tea Party congressman from Texas. "This is what the Founding Fathers would have wanted."

According to Tannen Weekly economists, the Tea Party proposal will limit the entire federal budget to $712,504.

"Nobody needs to spend more than that," claimed Mark Meckler, a Tea Party spokesperson from Nevada, a state that currently has over $31 billion in outstanding debt.

According to analysts, if the Tea Party bill passes it will be a bonanza for people who own horses and raise cotton, as well as companies that make wood stoves and swords.

Federal funding for inspection of antibiotics, air traffic control, telecommunications and space satellites will disappear, since none of these existed in 1776.

Tea Party members expect that private enterprise will step in and run the Department of Health and Human Services, Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid on a "for profit" basis.

In other news, on Wall Street, shares of TriCapa, manufacturer of three-cornered hats, rose 23% in heavy trading.


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(c) 2011 Peter Tannen