Column Date 2009-11-27

A sneak preview of next year's news

It's easy to predict some of the headlines you'll see next year: "Congressman caught taking bribe in washroom", "Football players deny using steroids", "Sarah Palin kicks off presidential campaign on 'Real Housewives of Wasilla'", and so on.

But here are some stories you could easily miss -- all guaranteed to happen in 2010 by the Tannen Weekly:

Biblical scholars say faint words recently found on Shroud of Turin are washing instructions.

NASA loses Hubble space telescope in black hole. Astronomers "didn't see it coming".

North Koreans say they will re-start nuclear weapons program unless President Obama invites Kim il-Jong to play in his White House basketball game.

Large Hadron Collider, at cost of $7 billion, once again proves that the world is made up of very tiny things.

New FOX TV Series, "The Cat Whisperer," fails miserably; cats show no interest in following instructions, being part of a pack.

NY Yankees buy Dominican Republic to lock-in future talent.

French not happy.

State of Florida mandates printing words in very large type on all election ballots.

Goldman Sachs distributes $75 billion in holiday bonuses; offers free frozen turkeys to homeless New Yorkers.

Poll shows 47% of Americans convinced world will end in 2012; most learned of impending doom from friends on internet.

Snopes announces that all forwarded e-mails on the internet are false.

Drunken English soccer fans, on luxury cruise to World Cup in S. Africa, hijack Somali pirate ship.

New film, "Death, Doom, Destruction & Vampires, too," is #1 at box office.

(c) 2009 Peter Tannen