ArchiveDate
"NANO-NEWS" -- ALL THE NEWS IN 50 CHARACTERS OR LESS 2014-02-25
A MODEST PLAN TO SAVE THE NFL 2014-02-16
WASHINGTON, D.C., THE MUSICAL 2014-01-04
LONG ISLAND SLOWLY DRIFTING TOWARD CONNECTICUT 2014-01-04
GOOGLE BUYS 19 DICTIONARIES; NOW OWNS ALL ENGLISH WORDS 2012-10-30
POLL RESULTS: WHO IS GOD TALKING TO? 2011-09-19
WHO IS GOD TALKING TO? A POLL. 2011-09-06
PROFITS DOWN? OUTSOURCE YOUR CEO. 2011-08-22
BLESSED ARE THE RICH 2011-08-12
"ICED TEA PARTY" SPLITS OFF FROM MAIN GROUP 2011-07-25
COST OF BRIBERY HITS HISTORIC LOW; RECESSION BLAMED 2011-06-28
HERE COMES THE END OF THE WORLD...AGAIN! 2011-05-26
Let's help America find a new enemy! 2011-05-10
Quick -- can you name your state's official weapon? 2011-05-04
Which Tea Party hopeful said what? 2011-04-25
The three little pigs 2011-04-07
IS EVERYBODY HAPPY? 2011-03-24
ALL THE NEWS IN 50 CHARACTERS OR LESS! 2011-03-17
WHY PICK ON WITCHES? 2011-03-02
PAYING FOR PRAYING 2011-02-15
THE SUPER BOWL FOR SMALL PEOPLE 2011-02-03
NABBED BY A PETUNIA 2011-01-28
READY OR NOT, THE 'DO-IT-YOURSELF' ECONOMY IS HERE 2011-01-21
WORDS FOR OUR TIMES: 'VOMITOUS' & 'KAKISTOCRACY' 2011-01-14
TEA PARTY PROPOSES CUTTING FEDERAL BUDGET TO 1776 LEVEL 2011-01-06
Elderly man and reindeer detained by TSA 2010-12-19
BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM GOD 2010-12-14
OBAMA AND REPUBLICANS REACH DEAL: EARTH IS A CUBE 2010-12-07
THE ANSWER IS BUMPER CARS 2010-12-02
SOME STUFF ABOUT TURKEYS 2010-11-23
GOOD MORNING, MR. TOASTER 2010-11-17
THE ILLEGAL ALIENS HIDDEN AMONG US 2010-11-08
RICH PEOPLE ELECTED; PROMISE TAX CUTS FOR THE RICH 2010-11-02
Billionaire shocks voters; decides not to run for office 2010-08-11
Some exciting new things to tax 2010-04-12
The tobacco-powered car is here 2010-03-30
Hey kids! Let's re-enact the Spanish Inquisition! 2010-02-20
Poodles demand legal rights as "people" 2010-01-23
Major escalation in "War on Greed" 2010-01-10
Nudists offer to fly naked to help national security 2009-12-31
Take an Evangelical Christian to lunch 2009-12-27
Life in the slowest lane 2009-12-13
A sneak preview of next year's news 2009-11-27
Where has the universe gone? 2009-11-15
Bugging your heirs for all eternity 2009-10-27
Crime wave? Call Mozart. 2009-10-13
Death by sulfur hexafluoride and its buddies 2009-10-04
Let's fire Congress 2009-09-16
Good news for Labor Day: we're having a "Jobless Recovery" 2009-09-06
Nattering Nabobs of Negativism 2009-08-05
And these people actually vote 2009-08-05
A surefire plan for losing weight 2009-07-29
It's good to have a professional clown in the Senate 2009-07-17
Bagel mules 2009-06-16
Next Year in Jerusalem: a radical thought 2009-06-03
Your tax dollars at work 2009-05-20
What would Jesus do: Facebook or Twitter? 2009-05-09
Don't be a Rogue, be a Felon 2009-04-22
The medical police are coming 2009-04-13
Tobacco-powered car is here 2009-03-31
Captain, officers of Titanic get performance bonuses 2009-03-15
Report from Florida: it's getting weird down here 2009-03-14
Now really... 2009-02-25
Superheroes admit using performance-enhancing drugs! 2009-02-12
How to make ends meet on $500,000 a year 2009-02-08
So long Quasimodo, Turd Blossom and Pootie-Poo 2009-01-23
Why I am thinking of becoming a thief 2009-01-11
The year in review: 2008 goofier than usual 2008-12-21
If your friends are crying over their 401(k)s, here's a gift for them. 2008-12-14
What financial crisis? McCain leads Himalayan boondoggle. 2008-12-07
A free hybrid car in every garage! It might just save the economy. 2008-11-19
WWWD? 2008-11-09
Let's improve Homeland Security -- here's my plan 2008-10-12
Obama or McCain? 2008-10-12
Before you vote, take these educational tours 2008-09-19
All hail the great American kakistocracy! 2008-09-07
Fox News covers your favorite Bible stories 2008-08-22
Who would you pardon? Match President Bush's choices and win a prize! 2008-08-07
Confused about the election? Me, too. 2008-07-25
Obama beats McCain as barbecue guest 2008-07-11
Bush pardons Cheney in advance 2008-06-20
Help the economy -- get a divorce 2008-06-13
Holy Cereal! 2008-05-31
Let's hear it for Sark, the world's newest democracy 2008-05-16
Our Placebo President 2008-05-02
Living in Florida without a gun 2008-04-19
Bang, zoom, straight to the moon, Alice! 2008-04-01
Seven new ways to go to hell 2008-03-24
A gunslinger in every classroom 2008-03-09
A few words from Lord Tannen 2008-02-24
Driving with the God of your choice 2008-02-17
Pete Tannen is on strike 2007-11-18
Undocumented robots - will one of them take your job? 2007-11-02
It's good to have God on your side 2007-10-21
My brain is shrinking. And it’s fun! 2007-10-06
Honesty Day. A new idea for a holiday. 2007-09-23
What happened on my summer vacation 2007-09-05
Washington...Jefferson...Simpson? 2007-08-01
Is bigger actually better? 2007-07-29
Flying á la carte 2007-07-20
Smile, you’re on security camera TV! 2007-07-11
Movie critics follow President’s lead: no more “harsh” judgments 2007-07-07
Where in the world is Dick Cheney? 2007-06-27
Does my operation come with a warranty, doctor? 2007-06-05
Saving W with Feng Shui 2007-06-04
Culture in 5-minute doses 2007-06-04
Can bourbon solve America’s oil crisis? 2007-06-03
Should we outlaw fortune tellers? (And will they see it coming?) 2007-05-26
How to make an egg salad sandwich 2007-05-13
Underwear terrorism: the next al-Qaeda tactic? 2007-05-06
Let’s build a wall. It’s the American Way. 2007-04-25
The 2006 “Most Boring” Awards are announced 2007-04-22
Let’s raise the enlistment age to 65 2007-04-15
My imaginary trip to Baghdad and other places 2007-04-08
New York to hold 2008 Presidential Primary next Tuesday 2007-04-01
Protect us against fat, not cleavage 2007-03-26
Ohio challenges Florida for ‘Most Birdbrained State’ title 2007-03-11
How “The Secret” helped me find a parking place in Manhattan 2007-03-08
“Three Strikes and You’re Out” for Congress 2007-03-02
Are they bringing back the draft? 2007-02-25
President revises alphabet; eliminates the letter "Q" 2007-02-17
Can giant rabbits save North Korea? 2007-02-12
Who I’m backing for President in 2008 2007-02-04
The Super Bowl for small people 2007-01-29
The ignorance of the common man. Like me. 2007-01-21
What are they smoking in Washington? 2007-01-07
TIME magazine, I accept! 2006-12-31
Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa 2006-12-23
Pete’s Predictions for 2007 2006-12-16
The beginner’s guide to global warming 2006-12-10
Tired of being butt of election jokes, Florida fights back 2006-11-30
Good news! No more hungry people in America! 2006-11-25
“Hey, Dad. I just got my merit badge in Piracy!” 2006-11-19
Double your money, overnight 2006-11-12
Keep It Simple, Stupid 2006-11-05
Talking to people with small brains 2006-10-25
Are we slowly losing our minds? 2006-10-20
Feeling good about America 2006-10-13
The reverse-wedding 2006-10-08
The tyranny of the minority 2006-10-01
Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! 2006-09-24
Let’s start an internet rumor! 2006-09-23
Xtreme sports for bad athletes 2006-09-21
Life without a paycheck 2006-08-25
Take the law and shove it 2006-08-19
Your name here 2006-08-14
Dear NYPD 2006-08-06
But first, a word from God 2006-07-27
Two scrambled eggs, hold the ads 2006-07-21
The astrological World Cup 2006-07-16
Government admits spying on lingerie stores 2006-07-07
The organic chicken’s story 2006-06-28
Seven ways to get Americans to vote 2006-06-24
“Slimy capitalism” is here 2006-06-18
A modest proposal to reduce Florida's population 2006-06-11
The joy of being invisible 2006-06-04
Tap my phone? You must been kidding. 2006-05-29
Life in the slowest lane 2006-05-21
Kiss your foie gras goodbye 2006-05-17
Mother's Day, improved in China 2006-05-04
The horse that ran the wrong way 2006-05-01
Love is not the answer. Salmon is. 2006-04-23
Help America break the oil habit: get a dog 2006-04-15
Government by delayed reaction 2006-04-09
Surprise! You owe the U.S. government $30,000 2006-04-09
What would Superman do? 2006-04-09
The coming intergalactic war 2006-03-20
Human heads & cuckoo clocks 2006-03-12
Faith-based law enforcement 2006-03-05
Too dumb to survive? 2006-02-26
Tannen's Total Terrorist Protection PLan 2006-02-12
Where have you gone, James Bond? 2006-02-12
Gourmets in Space 2006-02-06
Where should we put Kentucky? 2006-01-30
It's 10 P.M. Do you know where your congressman is? 2006-01-25
Crime wave? Call Mozart. 2006-01-23
Take a Laugh Track to Lunch 2006-01-22
The Penguin Follies 2006-01-22
Follow the bouncing price 2006-01-22
Thank you, Brad Pitt 2006-01-22
The Great American Road Show 2006-01-22
Bovine Billboards 2006-01-22
First tobacco-powered car unveiled 2006-01-22
The dandruff crisis 2006-01-22
V.P. Cheney Admits Taking Second Job 2005-12-14
Crime Wave? Call Mozart. 2005-12-14
The 'no-service' economy 2005-12-14
Pardoning the Turkey 2005-12-14
Hurricane Watch 2005-12-14
Here a psychic, there a psychic... 2005-12-14
Leave No Congressman Behind 2005-12-14
Good Morning, Mr. Toaster 2005-12-14
That yellow diamond is Harry, my late husband. 2005-12-14
Down with "Trickle-Down" 2005-12-14
Woodman, spare that cell tower 2005-12-14
Washington crosses the Delaware (revised, 2005) 2005-12-14
It's 10 P.M. Do you know where your Congressman is? 2005-12-14
Outsourcing Washington 2005-12-12